It has to go somewhere

I wonder. I wonder if you know your power. How, when you really turn your attention toward me, I soar. How your quiet kindness can soothe my searing pain. I wonder if you know your power. How your careless words crash through my defenses. How they cut and leave gaping wounds. I wonder if you know your humor. How it’s smart and silly and truly a blessing. How our laughter has brought me so much joy. I wonder if you know your humor. How when you use it as a weapon, your face changes. How its cruelty dismisses me as nothing. I know we agreed to smile. But I wonder if you know what lies behind mine.

Sometimes I get caught up in the bad news. All that stuff that reporters love to talk about. With their painted-on look of sorrow that barely covers the glimmer in their eyes, they report on those tragic deaths, the suffering, abuse, and poverty. And, if that were not enough, I get bogged down in my own self-loathing, and pity, my own pain and suffering. And, I forget. I forget that there is the good stuff right there before me. But just recently I was reminded. Our friends invited us over. They are a 30-something couple with 2 adorable boys. Big brother is 5 and little brother is 3. They live on a cute cul-de-sac with their cat and some fish. We were excited to go because we had been promised a "camp-fire" complete with roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. It had been years since I had been in front of a good roaring fire, so although it was kinda hot out, I was optimistic it would be a nice time. Well, "nice time" is quite the understatement. It was paradise. The bo...