The pesky asterisk*
I am pretty sure that I have had an asterisk (*) following me since I was born. Maybe everyone does, I don't know. This magical little character that indicates an omission, reference or footnote can definitely adapt to whatever situation I am in. I first became aware of the asterisk as a very little girl. My mom would say, "This is Debby, our daughter*" And then a pause and then a little bit quieter, *she's adopted.
I have found that usually the mark (*) refers to a shortcoming or something that people need to know in order to understand that although I may be in a category (daughter), I am definitely not flying first-class (adopted).
One that I find particularly annoying is the one that I find popping up when I attend church. Now, I know I share this with others at church, but it definitely puts you in coach class. *single-childless-no-prospects-in-sight.
Of course, you don't really get this until you are well out of college-age and have managed to avoid some other factors (dating, divorced, etc). I once sat through a sermon that included dozens of blatant references to "your spouse and children" the message was helping us all realize that our priorities should be these people, rather than work or other sinful stuff. It was so unbending and left no space for those who didn't have a spouse or child that I began to feel like a student who had wandered into the wrong lecture hall. And then I realized. The asterisk. It was glowing brightly beside me. I am a second-class-church-goer. Darn.
There are others. So many others. A couple of my favorites over the years:
I heard this a lot growing up--"you are such a pretty* girl" *if you would only lose weight. Oh, and the one that came along in college, when I would work really hard on a project, and it would go up on the board for a critique with the rest of the class work. And then...muffled discussions like, "yeah, her work is cool*" *but she doesn't have a life besides school, you know.
Yeah. I'm bitter. We all get labels applied to us and to be honest...I probably install the asterisk beside myself more than others do it to me. I should stop that.
I have found that usually the mark (*) refers to a shortcoming or something that people need to know in order to understand that although I may be in a category (daughter), I am definitely not flying first-class (adopted).
One that I find particularly annoying is the one that I find popping up when I attend church. Now, I know I share this with others at church, but it definitely puts you in coach class. *single-childless-no-prospects-in-sight.
Of course, you don't really get this until you are well out of college-age and have managed to avoid some other factors (dating, divorced, etc). I once sat through a sermon that included dozens of blatant references to "your spouse and children" the message was helping us all realize that our priorities should be these people, rather than work or other sinful stuff. It was so unbending and left no space for those who didn't have a spouse or child that I began to feel like a student who had wandered into the wrong lecture hall. And then I realized. The asterisk. It was glowing brightly beside me. I am a second-class-church-goer. Darn.
There are others. So many others. A couple of my favorites over the years:
I heard this a lot growing up--"you are such a pretty* girl" *if you would only lose weight. Oh, and the one that came along in college, when I would work really hard on a project, and it would go up on the board for a critique with the rest of the class work. And then...muffled discussions like, "yeah, her work is cool*" *but she doesn't have a life besides school, you know.
Yeah. I'm bitter. We all get labels applied to us and to be honest...I probably install the asterisk beside myself more than others do it to me. I should stop that.
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-the clever guys other half