Inconvenient

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She said she didn't want me. She was poor. Young.
She hadn't even wanted sex and certainly not an infant. 
She wanted them to take her mistake away. 
She was in a hurry for me to become a bad memory.
I was inconvenient.

They said I should be grateful. After all, they wanted me. 
I was lucky. Chosen. 
But they didn't want my thoughts, and wouldn't stand for sadness. 
They were ashamed of my differences. I wouldn't conform. 
I was inconvenient.

He said he wanted to see me. I was pretty. Smart. 
But he didn't want what I could give. Only what he could take. 
After his crime he didn't want to hear his mistake crying. 
Must stay quiet. 
I was inconvenient.

He was a friend. He said that I was safe with him. I could trust. 
I believed him. But, I guess even friendship has its limits. 
I was in pain. Sad and weakened by pain. Despair. 
He said it was too hard to see. I was no longer worth it. Not profitable. 
I was definitely inconvenient. 

Turns out. 
I am not a convenient person. 
Why do I wait for rejection. 
What if *I* would reject it all?

Would that be okay with you?

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